Parenting the brain: Gain a deeper understanding of how your baby's brain develops and how your parenting can support and promote this to give your child (and your children's children) the best starts in life.

“If we act upon what science can tell us about parenting, we can develop more benign societies” 
~ Dr Margot Sunderland, 2007 ~

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'What every parent needs to know'

From the moment I picked up Dr Margot Sunderland's book (What Every Parent Needs to know) and read the Forward I was pretty much hooked!

​To me this wonderful book makes so much sense, not just for my work as an Infant Massage Instructor, but also as a parent myself. 

So, I just wanted to share a few highlights with you all in-terms of your baby's brain development and how you can support and promote this through your parenting, with life-long benefits for generations to come!

​I really believe that by looking at our evolutionary past and the development of our brains can really help us to gain a deeper understanding of our children's stage of biological, social and emotional development, their capabilities and therefore our realistic expectations of them too.

Lets talk, brains.... all three of them!

Did you know that our brains are made up of a core reptilian brain, a lower mammalian brain and the higher rational brain? Each is connected by a huge network of nerves. The reptilian brain is the oldest part and is instinctive controlling body functions and is based on survival, the mammalian brain was next to evolve with new brain programmes for social behaviour and triggers strong emotions; rage, fear, separation, caring, bonding and explosive urges.  The rational brain was last to evolve and has highly sophisticated powers of reasoning, as well as problem solving, creativity, imagination, self-awareness, kindness, empathy and concern.  At times our child’s three brains can act together in a perfect harmony, however at other times one part is dominant and how we respond to this part can actually influence a child’s emotional life in the long-term. 

How our baby's brain develops

Much of our babies brain actually develops after birth, with the higher rational part of the brain being particularly unfinished. Why? Evolution has the answer... Dr Margot Sunderland explains that because humans have evolved from being on all fours to standing on two legs this means that our pelvis has become much narrower.  Being on two legs also meant that the free use of our hands led to a dramatic increase in intelligence and brain size.  A narrower pelvis coupled with a larger brain and head size means that of all the mammals humans babies are born the most immature, with only 25% of their final brain size ~ this means that our babies have to complete their gestation outside the womb, in a period often referred to as the Fourth Trimester. 

At birth there are very few connections between the cells in the higher rational part of the brain and it's these connections that are responsible for our children's emotional and social intelligence.  These connections are formed through our babies life experiences and in particular their emotional experiences with us as their parents, therefore our brains are specifically designed to adapt to the environment in which we live.  From birth to five our children's brains grow from 25% to 90% of their final brain size ~ I think this really highlights the huge influence that we as parents have over the growth and development of our children's emotional brains in the first years of life.

Parenting the brain

So what does this mean for our babies and our parenting? Dr Margot Sunderland highlights the importance of parenting a baby's brain to best promote positive long-term connections between the cells in their higher rational brain region. 

The best way to do this is by being 'Emotionally Responsive', as Dr Margot Sunderland explains so beautifully here:

"With emotionally responsive parenting, vital connections will form in his brain, enabling him to cope well with stress in later life: form fulfilling relationships; manage anger well; be kind and compassionate; have the will and motivation to follow his ambitions and his dreams; experience the deepest calm; and be able to love intimately and in peace."

Responding to the lower parts of our baby's brains

Due to our baby's higher rational brain being so unfinished, this means that their lower reptilian and mammillian parts of their brain take the driving seat and this is where the primitive impulses and feelings of being emotionally overwhelmed can be displayed as they grow (AKA screaming, emotional distress, bursts of rage, rolling on the floor etc,)  If our babies and children do not receive the right help with their lower brain feelings and primitive impulses this could result in them taking these primitive impulses through to adulthood, without the ability to reflect on their feelings.

The science behind stress for our babies

​It has been proven through neuroscientific research that our baby's brain is highly vulnerable to stress and our parenting techniques can have huge influence over chemical balances and stress response systems as they grow, through the amygdala and hypothalamus – part of the brain responsible for fight or flight.  Research shows that if our children are not responded to appropriately these intense feelings of stress could become overactive in adult life leading to depression and anxiety disorders. Brain scans also show that many violent adults are driven just like infant’s ancient rage/fear and defence/attack responses deep in their lower mammalian and reptilian parts of the brain.

One of the earliest forms of stress that our babies could be exposed to is prolonged distressed crying when left unattended. This is when a baby’s bodily arousal system is primed for action, ‘fight or flight’.  There is wealth of research showing how early stress can result in negative changes in our baby's brain through the release of cortisol, resulting in an over-sensitive stress response system.  Early stress can also impact physical ailments such as IBS, asthma, high blood pressure and heart disease in later life.

The science behind calming for our babies

When comforting and soothing our baby in a disorganised / distressed state the vagus nerve is activated, which regulates the major organs, and  will restore order to key bodily functions disrupted by distress.  It is important to highlight that it is us as parents/care givers who helps to regulate our baby’s arousal systems and bring calm to their autonomic nervous system ~ they are not able to do this for themselves because their higher brain is simply not developed enough yet.

The power of oxytocin

​To drop the level of cortisol in our baby’s brain, there needs to be the release of the calming chemical oxytocin.  Our babies will generally stop crying when they are picked up and held closely, as this regulates their bodily arousal system and releases oxytocin.  Sucking helps to calm and release oxytocin, as does warmth with close skin-to-skin contact, which again regulates, calms and releases that all important oxytocin.

How Baby Massage can help

Baby Massage is a gentle baby-led interaction that promotes skin-to-skin contact through attunement, emotionally responsive parenting and of course positive nurturing touch, which has the same effects in terms of activating the vagus nerve, regulating our baby’s bodily arousal system, releasing oxytocin and bringing calm to their autonomic nervous system ~ increasing relaxation and overall contentment.

The benefits from this attunement and nurturing touch with our babies won't stop there though, they can extend into boosting immunity, promoting brain development, supporting language and learning, increasing social and emotional resilience as adults, and so much more... this really is a life-long parenting skill with life-long benefits!

Lets get back to basics

I'm a great believer in getting back to basics in parenting and following our natural instincts; trusting ourselves; trusting our babies and trusting thousands of years of evolution. I love how fine-tuned (to put it mildly) we are to care for our babies and our babies are just as fine-tuned to ensure they receive the care they need from us to promote their survival and positive development as they grow. Whenever I have gone against my natural instincts with my two, I'm always reminded not to – even now at three and five! Take a look at my blog on How to Stop Comparing and Get Back to Basics with Our Babies.

Parenting for a future society: Margot and Vimala's shared vision...

​Dr Margot Sunderland's vision for developing a more benign society by acting on the science of parenting perfectly fits with Vimala McClure's (Founder of the International Association of Infant Massage) vision for a more compassionate society:  

"I believe that by fostering and encouraging Infant Massage and other cultural traditions which enhance the parent-baby bond and by helping to create more family-centered values in our culture, we will begin to see whole generations expressing more compassion toward and responsibility for their fellow human beings."

A final thought....

Parenting in response to our baby’s biological and evolutionary brain development not only enhances attunement and the bonding process with our children, it also lays a foundation for their future social and emotional resilience and the ability to form healthy, loving and secure attachments as they grow, and subsequently as their children grow and their children's children grow.... 

Sources, with huge thanks

Dr Margot Sunderland, 2007; What Every Parent Needs to Know
Vimala McClure, Founder of the International Association of Infant Massage and Author of Infant Massage: A Handbook for Loving Parents

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Hope you found this blog post interesting, I would love to hear your thoughts and any experiences in the comments below.
​Thank you 

Sunflower Baby Massage
Emma Lindell
Certified Infant Massage Instructor
INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF INFANT MASSAGE

www.sunflowerbabymassage.co.uk
emma@sunflowerbabymassage.co.uk
07737 503092