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Positive nurturing touch Touch is the first sense your baby develops in the womb, and touch is how your baby primarily experiences and communicates with their world. Your positive nurturing touch has an important role for easing your baby's "transition from womb to world". Getting to know your baby and enhance bonding through positive nurturing touch Having a baby who is born early, who has experienced a difficult birth leading to illness, or born with health problems can be a very stressful experience for you, and your baby. Getting to know your baby through a cue-based dialogue of positive nurturing touch can help to encourage your special connection together, enhance the bonding process and can give you a greater sense of confidence as a parent. Time spent watching and caring for your baby will help you learn about their unique ways of responding to the world. Through their cues, your baby will let you know what kind of touch they are able to receive and what works for them as individuals at that particular time. Your baby can sense and feel your touch and recognise your special voice and scent. This creates an opportunity for bonding and attachment, that lasts a lifetime. A cue-based dialogue In our Association positive nurturing touch (and Baby Massage when you're at home) is not considered a treatment or therapy, it is a two-way communication; a dialogue between you and your baby. The most important element to this dialogue of nurturing touch in any circumstance is that it is carried out in synchrony with your baby, at all times. Your baby's first contact with human touch may have been a world away from the warmth, security and comfort of the womb. The dialogue you develop with your baby communicates the love and the respect that you have for your baby, as a person in their own right. This communication of love and respect will help your baby to build trust and get used to the feelings of your loving touch. Through this dialogue with your baby, you will also gain a deeper understanding of your baby's cues and therefore their needs, which will in-turn give you a greater sense of confidence as a parent. Your five-step dialogue with your baby Observation
Avoidance or disengagement cues Your baby's avoidance, or disengagement cues may appear in clusters. These clusters can be very subtle at first, for example a change in breathing, hiccuping, yawning or sneezing, however every baby is an individual. You are the expert of your baby and your baby is your teacher. Your baby will let you know what their own unique engagement and disengagement cues are. If you have a baby who is born early, has experienced illness or has health problems they may be more sensitive to their surroundings. If your baby starts to give you their avoidance or disengagement cues during your touch communication together, slow your breathing and consciously relax your hands. Take a moment to wait and watch; are there any outside disturbances that could have unsettled your baby? Has someone come into the room? Are the lights too bright? Have you moved your hands even very slightly? By taking this time to wait and watch you are continuing your cue-based dialogue. This time may also help your baby to resettle, with the reassurance and consistency of your positive nurturing touch. When at home If your baby is receiving therapies, such as physiotherapy, consider if this time of nurturing touch could be in a different room to minimise the association between receiving a therapy or completing exercises (which can be uncomfortable) and your dialogue of positive nurturing touch. It is important that when working through your dialogue together that your baby is positioned nice and close to you, so that you can clearly see their face; on your lap with knees bent works well (as with IAIM and Sunflower Baby Massage logo). To encourage feelings of support and security, you can place a blanket underneath your baby and cocoon this around them, which will also help to keep them warm. Your role, your baby's role and our roles as CIMIs As the parent of your baby you are the expert of your baby, and your baby is your teacher. As IAIM Certified Infant Massage Instructors (CIMIs) it is our role to simply facilitate, guide and support you through this process as you learn the holds and massage strokes that are associated with yours and your baby's unique dialogue. No matter what the circumstance, you are a fundamental part of your baby's development and growth. Your baby will quickly recognise the incredible love that flows through your hands, as you discover your wonderful dialogue together; a dialogue that will continue to grow as your baby does, encouraging a lifetime of love, trust and intimacy between you both. A final note from Vimala McClure, Founder of the International Association of Infant Massage "Breath deeply, relax and move through these movements with your baby. Assure your newborn that he or she is OK, that you are here for him or her no matter what happens. The baby needs to feel your strength and confidence" Your Stories Have you had a baby born early, with illness or health problems? What are your experiences? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments below. Sources, with thanks: Vimala McClure, Founder of the International Association of Infant Massage and Author of Infant Massage: A Handbook for Loving Parents The International Association of Infant Massage, UK Chapter Book for preterm parents. Caring for your Baby in the Neonatal Unit. By Inga Warren & Cherry Bond CIMI, from www.earlybabies.com Sunflower Baby Photo Big Thanks to Sunny Sunflower Baby, Joshua and his Mummy, Karen. What a gorgeous photo of positive nurturing touch. 💛💛💛
14 Comments
5/19/2017 09:57:09 pm
I'm 7 weeks away from my due date and hoping that I don't have to deal with prematurity or sickness, but it is so lovely to read just how much a loving touch can help newborn babies whatever their circumstances. Thank you so much for this informative post. X
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5/19/2017 10:06:54 pm
You're very welcome, Anna. So pleased you have found it helpful and wish you all the very best with the rest of your pregnancy. Your baby can feel your warm, nurturing and loving touch now - enjoy... Love, Emma x
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Gaelle Stark-Ordish
5/21/2017 10:13:09 pm
My little girl developed an illness within the first 24hrs of life and her first experiences of life was needles; blood tests and cannulas. I hated watching it. The treatments made her understandably upset and fractious, she didn't feed well and lost a lot of weight. Touch was so important, skin to skin with both me and her father, stroking and cuddling her. We also started massage soon after we were able to come home and it made all the difference. She loves her massage time!
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5/21/2017 11:36:39 pm
Thank you so much for sharing your story. To have your baby experience illness so soon after birth must have been incredibly difficult for you all, especially at a time of heightened emotions and huge transition, as it is. Your touch would have offered so much comfort for your daughter and it's lovely to hear that you started baby massage so soon after coming home. Enjoy your special massage times together and thank you again for sharing, I'm sure others will find comfort in reading your story. Love, Emma x
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6/8/2017 11:04:30 am
What a beautifully written article.
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6/9/2017 07:29:53 pm
Thank you so much! Lovely to hear that your daughter still loves this time together... We discuss the importance of continuing nurturing touch for the growing child as part of our baby massage courses! So impt. :) xx
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6/9/2017 07:43:33 pm
Thank you for sharing and I couldn't agree with you more. Your story really highlights the power of parent-baby instincts, to know your nurturing touch, your cuddles, your closeness were/are absolutely fundamental to your baby's development. Thank you, again. Love. Emma x
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Rajvir
3/14/2018 10:55:49 pm
My baby girl is ex 25 weeker who is about 4 months in corrected age. In first days of her life I started to give her nurturing touch and sing a sing which I used to sing to her while pregnant with her. Soon her sats stared to improve and slowly slowly I began to touch her more and did between 2-3 hours of skin to skin contact for 3 and half months while her stay in NICU. When I brought her home I massages her every day and apart of medical problems she is such a content baby and I feel greatly that baby massage has played a major part in bonding and attachment. We loved to receive a massage every day.
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3/14/2018 11:18:20 pm
Dearest Rajvir, thank you so much for sharing. How lovely for you and your baby to have that wonderful connection together, in what I can imagine was a very difficult time. Your warm nurturing touch and your gentle voice singing the same songs she would have listened to when tucked-up inside would have offered so much love, security and reassurance ~ easing her huge transition from womb-to-world and fundamental to her development. So lovely to hear how bonded you are and that you continue to enjoy your massage time together. Thank you again for taking the time to share your story, I'm sure it will offer a lot of reassurance for other families who maybe going through a similar experience. xxx
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6/28/2018 02:20:36 pm
Thanks for this great information Emma. There's nothing better than getting a massage. Massage can heal baby's tissue and help to relax body and mind.
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9/25/2018 04:07:52 pm
Baby massage helps your baby's muscles relax, breathing becomes deeper and the massage oil nourishes your child's skin. Skin stimulation also provides a vital trigger to the nervous system. Thanks for sharing an useful article, Emma!
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10/14/2018 10:44:09 pm
So many benefits to promoting this gentle interaction for both babies and their parents. Thank you so much for your kind words, Robin.
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Emma LindellCertified Infant Massage Instructor with the International Association of Infant Massage. Archives
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